Query: I am a truth seeker. Can I marry and
simultaneously maintain state of Celibacy. I would like to dedicate my life to God and to serve the
There are so many things you desire to do at once ... before you
take any decision ... you need to establish the goal of your life ... unless you establish what you really
desire to do for the whole of your life ... decision-making may not be possible. Rather life would become
dull without a firm objective.
The presence of an objective in life is a must ... we need to finalize
the goal of life ... whether or not we have the capability to do so ... it is essential lest we may suffer at
the hands of destiny later on in life.
Although practicing Celibacy is an essential ingredient in the path of
spirituality ... but God permits sexual pleasures a maximum of two times in a month and that too during the
prescribed days. Practicing Celibacy is essential because in a total life span of 96.4 million years of atman
the soul within ... we have only this life to live ... we do not know what we shall be in the next life.
Whatever goal we fix for ourselves ... if we truly desire to accomplish it within this life then we need to
put all our energies behind one concentrated goal.
In the Spiritual domain ... sex and Celibacy play a vital role. We need
to control our sensual desires ... only then can we preserve our virility. This cosmic power is necessary to
awaken the kundalini in totality. It requires a continuous tapasya (Prayers in isolation) of 14 years in
continuation (abstinence from sex) before we can catch the lift of our spiritual life. The normal route
destined for all is via the staircase ... a total journey of 8.4 million manifestations.
If we desire to go higher up on the path of spirituality ... we can catch
a lift ... God gives us a dose of virility every month ... 14 years are required before we are admitted for
the queue to the lift ... The shortest path one can take before one realizes god ... attain the status of a
man God ... become a Buddha, Mahavira, Jesus Christ or Prophet Mohammed.
What we actually do if we indulge in sexual pleasures. We take the lift
from the ground floor to the first floor ... and when we indulge in sensual pleasures ... we are again
dropped back to the ground floor ... again the next month we take the lift ... owing to the energy dose given
to us by God every month. Again we indulge in sensual pleasures ... this sequence continues forever. We
remain wherever we are bound by our destiny.
If we are to take control of our destiny ... we need to stop the dropping
down ... we need to go higher and higher ... this is possible only after total abstinence from sensual
pleasures. 14 years is a long period for this to achieve ... yet there is no alternative ... Buddha practiced
it, Mahavira also practiced it and so did Jesus Christ and prophet Mohammed. We cannot reduce the time span
by even a single day.
S., if you feel that your commitments to the lady cannot be undone ...
marry her and settle down in life ... do not excessively indulge in sexual pleasures ... sexuality is an
essential ingredient only when progeny is required. You can have your children ... God willing and then
reduce the frequency of sensual pleasures. This always can be controlled ... and subsequently after you find
that your wife is taking proper care of the children ... you can continue on the absolute path of
spirituality with a renewed vigor. In a lifetime of 70 to 80 years one can always find time to concentrate
energies for a continued period of 14 years.
There are many examples in the society wherein people Realized God even
after marriage ... Gautama Buddha being the first in the list ... in the recent past
Ramakrishna Paramhansa was a married person and yet he Realized God. The consort of Ramakrishna
Paramhansa Maa Sharda was never an obstruction in the path of Ramakrishna Paramhansa ... rather she saw to it
she never ever was a hindrance for Ramakrishna Paramhansa in achieving his goal.
For pursuing the path of spirituality the only essential requirement of a householder is that we need to burn out
our Karma before the fruits of our Prayers be granted to us. The burning out of the Karma is possible by taking
control of our senses initially ... there after we need to establish absolute control over the power of mind and
reach the Nirvikalpa Samadhi stage. Once we reach this stage there is no looking back ... Self Realization is not
far off ... the possibility of our realizing God within this life is ripe.
Practicing Spirituality is something very different from pursuing
Spirituality. Swami Vivekananda practiced Spirituality while Ramakrishna Paramhansa pursued ultimate
Spirituality as the goal of his life. Ramakrishna Paramhansa wanted to have a darshan of God within this
life. He wanted it to be permanent feature. Comparatively, Swami Vivekananda also wanted to have a darshan of
God but not forever ... he wanted to serve the society ... he wanted to be a mother Teresa. But, apart from
being a mother Teresa ... he was a Spiritualist of the highest order ... something which mother Teresa was
Practicing pure Spirituality means that we desire the ultimate cosmic
goal of life ... Self Realization! Self Realization is the stage when all dross having removed, our atman the
soul within comes back to its original pristine pure form ... it liberates forever from the cycle of birth
and death. We reach the 8.4 millionth manifestation ... we can but achieve Moksha Salvation in this life.
Having Realized God ... one can thus benefit the mankind by disseminating those pearls of wisdom which only
one who has had a face-to-face dialogue with God Almighty impart.
We cannot expect one to preach before one has learnt the absolute truth ... the truth hidden in all the sacred
Scriptures of all the Religions of the world. Truth is the same in all Religions ... but all have a different path
to go. As many Human Beings ... as many chain of thoughts exist! Swami Vivekananda preached Spirituality even
though he did not realize god within his lifetime ... but he was an Acharya of the highest order the world has ever
seen in the recent times.
He practiced the practical path of spirituality ... he wanted to serve
all sons and daughters of God and not the God alone. Ramakrishna Paramhansa and Maharishi Ramana ... both
Realized God in their lifetime ... their teachings have no parallel in the history of mankind. The path of
Self Realization is difficult yet not unachievable. If we fix the goal of life in the initial stages ... it
may not be very difficult to achieve the same.
I have come across many people who emphasized on the fact that one is
supposed to pursue Spirituality only after having entered the vanaprastha Ashram ... A stage... when one
reaches the ripe age of 50 years. A stage... when one looks forward to serving his grandchildren ... Time
passes by and one reaches the end part of his life. What of the vows one had taken when young ... what of
practicing Spirituality after having crossed 50 years of age ... we remain a mere spectator in the field of
Spirituality ... having gained nothing in this life we leave the mortal frame.
Never leave things to chance ... for the time may never come. What we can accomplish today ... it is not necessary
that we shall be able to achieve the same results when we have grown in age. In the limited lifetime of 70 to 80
years ... one should strive for getting the most out of life. 95% people world-wide whether pursuing materialistic
goals or the Spiritual path do not care to fix a goal in their life. It is not that they are at folly ... some
people do not have the capacity to take decisions. Such people are required to take the guidance of a Guru and
involve self in Satsanga with like-minded people.
Satsanga definitely helps us in making our resolves firmer. Once the goal
has been established ... it is always not necessary to find the company of the Guru ... we might become
dependent upon him ... introspection is an art which must be practiced by one and all. On the path of
spirituality Neti is the best method for introspection in matters all Spiritual. In Neti, we try to find God
by negating things we consider not as God ... not this, not this is the process how we proceed in Neti.
Ramana Maharshi followed this path of inquiry to attain Self Realization. It is a very affirmative and result
producing method In present times.
Swami Vivekananda is one example in the history of mankind who did not
marry because he wanted to serve the society ... he was quite successful in that. Sage Yajnavalkya was a
married hermit ... he gained Self Realization while living in the family. He had not one but two wives ...
one was purely interested in materialistic wants and the other desired to serve the master ... when the right
time arrived ... she compelled Sage Yajnavalkya to impart to her those pearls of wisdom based on which she
could also Realize God. She finally succeeded in her attempts. Her name was Maitreyi. In the history of
mankind only two ladies have Realized God ... one was Gargi and the other Maitreyi in whose names we have the
Gargi and the Maitreyi colleges in the capital city of India, New Delhi.
So, always remember that you can take guidance from one and all on the
path of spirituality ... but, the decision in all matters are to be taken by you alone. You can consult your
elders ... you can also discuss openly with the lady concerned ... come to a conclusion which you feel is
also prompted by the sweet small voice which comes from within, the voice of our atman the soul within. This
voice never guides us on the wrong path!
May God bless you in your endeavors!
Always there to clarify your queries (send your query),
Vijay Kumar "Atma Jnani" ... The Man who Realized God in 1993!
Full text of query: This is S. B...who is one of the truth seekers...out of my ignorance,i
promissed one girl to marry her at any cost...but now due to my inner call i want to maintain perfect
chastity through out my life...i would like to dedicate my life to God and to serve the others...now i am in
great confusion regarding marry her...i dont want enjoy body pleasures .so what can be done by me.?please
reply to my query...due to which i am struggling alot..please Sir..kindly help me...my life is going to
depend on ur answer...
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