Born in a small Hamlet situated near the Ganges canal on the out skirts of Roorkee
town in the state of Uttar Pradesh (India), Khanjarpur village is reminiscent of those glorious days when
Hinduism in India was at its best. A care free life supported by loving parents was still a privilege for the
poor who could not or aim for something better or higher in life! The village life nurtured in me a sense of
belonging ... An inherent feeling that someday I will have to return what I gained from my parents and Mother
earth. The pride I felt on being an Indian, a true Hindu after listening to the various stories of the
pre-independence era inculcated in me a feeling of
If I were to search for the real values of life later in my life then I had to be a
truthful person from the beginning itself, was a feeling which existed with me at every stage of life. In my
dreams I used to seat myself on the throne of King Vikramaditya and ask myself of the impurities which
remained in me. This process did wonders and since my birth all misgivings I had indulged in came to my
notice one by one be they small or big. Whether I had eaten some sweets unknown to all or I had spoken
various lies on different occasions to gratify my wanton desires, all stood before me as if I was a living
testimony to them. I prayed to God to be forgiven for all deeds committed knowingly or unknowingly in this or
earlier lives. I noticed as days passed by that my conscience was getting more and more lighter ... the
purity for which I had inherently longed was becoming a part of my childhood life. What a noble experience it
My father worked in a governed department, a kilometer away from our house. Watching
him go on a bicycle made me think that I had to work hard if I were to get a bicycle ever in my life (How
will I learn to ride the bicycle was the biggest question which kept ringing in my ears for years
My mother tongue was Hindi in which I was slightly fluent from the beginning but to
think of learning English was beyond my comprehension. I never even dreamt of learning English ever. I had
doubts whether one born in a village was entitled to learn English How happy I was when I declared to my mom
that if I ever learn ABCD in my life then I shall distribute sweets to the whole village. That was when I was
around six years of age and had a inherent feeling that someday my persistence of learning the basics of
English would pay off. How optimistic I was even as a child, perhaps result of my earlier manifestations You
had to have a seed of a mango plant if you want to reap mangos at a later date. The Atman (soul within me)
which was to later manifest in life seemed to guide me, a grace of God which is available only to the
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My parents did to me what I failed to do later in my life for my own children ... my
two beloved daughters. I know for absolute certain that God has in store for me much more than what I or my
family would need in their lifetime but the looming clouds of ignorance makes it extremely difficult for one
to see the truth in its veiled form.
I went to three-four Hindi medium schools before I got admitted to an English medium
school. It was an irony of fate that Roorkee town was going to have a newly built English medium school
Christened "St. Gabriel's Academy" in the precincts of the Army setup at Roorkee, the famous "Bengal
Engineering and Sappers group (popularly known as BEG). Run by the Christian missionaries this school turned
out to be a boon for all the residents of Roorkee. St. Gabriel's Academy was meant for boys and it had a
counterpart for girls at a different location namely "St. Ann's convent".
It was in the third year of running, when my father decided to get me admitted to
this school. The principal brother Julian was a true academician. When he came to know of my Hindi background
he refused admission. By that time I had not even seen the school premises but my Elder brother was already
studying in the school having taken admission a year before. He also was from a Hindi medium background but
must have fared well in the test and interview. I had great regards for my brother as he had the knowledge of
My father was an intelligent person. He probably read the mind of the principal and coaxed me to train well before
I went to the school for the test. I was made to learn the difference between a chair and a table. Must have been
more than a hundred times before I reluctantly submitted to my parents that I would fare well in the test (How
deeply scared I was within cannot be explained in words but even at that young age of my life I had extreme faith
in God and somehow felt that all would go well in the end).
At the time of the test inspite of all prompting I had to call a chair a table and a
table a chair. My father told the principal that if asked in Hindi I would say it right but being an English
medium school he was not prone to any reason. Somehow the principal agreed to give me a trial for about seven
days and if I failed then I would be discontinued.
Lucky for me, the tests in Hindi got me nine and half out of 10 and the Hindi teacher
took me to the principal along with the results and requested the principal to extend the time limit. On
learning that I knew my tables up to 20 thoroughly but in Hindi whereas none in the class went beyond 13 was
a matter of consolation for the principal. He knew that to solve a problem in mathematics it was immaterial
whether one knew the tables in Hindi or English, what mattered was if the results arrived at were correct or
not. Thereafter, it was no looking back.
I did try hard in the beginning but my inherent tendencies to seek God resulted in my
getting poor grades since 9th class onwards. From sixth class onwards I was able to come second in class and
maintained this position till 8th standard. In the first tests in my ninth class I scored zero in two
subjects. My class teacher was flabbergasted and unable to contain herself took me to the earlier class
teacher of my sixth class. Inspite of the best promptings I could not disclose to the teachers the cause of
my getting below average grades.
I had switched over from mugging and cramming my lessons to understanding the basic
principles and laws of every subject. Someone inherently was prompting me to follow the new path irrespective
of whether or not I got good marks in various objects. This was perhaps the most difficult and the first
decision ever made by me as a child without even consulting my parents or my teachers. I had to gain or loose
but how was not very clear to me. Somehow I felt I would only gain and there was nothing to loose.
One thing was very clear to me that getting marks did not matter much. What mattered
was the knowledge gained. A source so potential in nature that I may draw knowledge from it as and when I
desired. I felt that if I continued cramming my lessons I may be considered intelligent in that particular
class but what of the future when I shall have fully forgotten what I had learnt earlier.
I got caned for the zero marking. Two canes per subject from the principal who earlier appreciated my coming second
in the class. Before the whole class he admonished me and advised me to study hard and maintain the old record.
Again, I could not spell out the reason for such low marks. I remember taking a solemn oath within my conscience
that I really would try harder and never betray the faith the principal had expressed in me nor get belittled in
front of the whole class ever.
The marks of the cane remained on my hand for full seven days. It also pained
reminding me that there was some virtue hidden in the new path shown by God. This was perhaps the most
important dictate of God I had in my pre-college days. To obey or not to obey was as per my discretion which
I left it on to God to take care.
This whole episode further strengthened my belief that there is a God and if one were
to search for it sincerely, honestly and truthfully then he shall show himself. I was right in my
presumption. I also became truthfully aware of the small inner voice which prompts us on the right path
The drag in my studies showed up when I got a compartment in a subject in the board examinations of 11 th standard.
Inherently I knew I would clear the same without any hassles but for my parents it was a crucial test of time.
Having appeared for the mathematics examination I knew I was going to fail but along with it followed a chain of
thinking supported by God that I would definitely clear the same in my second attempt.
The fact that I would fail in mathematics was not disclosed to anybody and when the
results poured in, I could see the consternation on the face of my parents trying to find out ways and means
to disclose the results to a boy who was celebrating his holidays 3000 kms away from home at Cochin where my
father had taken up a project. First time in my life I was to travel alone the full distance to Delhi by
train. I felt sorry for my parents and assured them that I would clear the paper without much difficulty.
They were relieved to know that I knew beforehand I would fail and was not shocked on seeing the results.
College days :
A lad in search of God, how he completed 12th standard, prepared for the engineering
competition and cleared it with flying colors is un-imaginable. and here I was admitted as a student of civil
engineering and that to in the famous University of Roorkee (formerly known as Thomason college of
engineering) which stood by its name in the field of civil engineering world-wide.
To be admitted to a local university was a boon for my parents, probably they could
not have afforded my studies out of the town. The invincible hand of God was there to help me all the time.
Even while doing my engineering I was deeply in search of God. Somehow somewhere I had to come face-to-face
to him. There was no other alternative. I had burnt all my bridges.
Since 1993, ever since I gained Self Realization (Enlightenment) :
I have dedicated myself in service of mankind. Compelled to leave a thriving business
& an earning sufficient for one to live comfortably & happily in a Cosmopolitan Town like Delhi, I am
trying to spread message of good will to the World community through the Internet.
Having reached the end part of my Cosmic career I was full of cheer as one would be
on seeing a full bloomed rose. But here I was the rose myself and there was no way to become a bud once more.
All manifestations had ended. I had come out of the cyclic chain of Life and Death never to be born again as
a human or any other being.
I am able to -
Understand the Hidden Truths of all Scriptures of all Religions of the World.
Talk to 'God, the Creator' every moment of my life.
Know that all living beings have emanated from the same source 'the Brahman'.
Understand "Bhagavad Gita and Upanishads" as clear as abc
Know what are dreams
Where does one go after death
What is hell and Heaven
How a layman can conquer his desires
How can one by controlling his Karma take absolute control of his destiny & reach any bracket of his life (from
a laborer to an Emperor).
Know the identity of true self "the I within".
Truth behind an atman soul manifesting a body.
The ultimate truth governing the physical World.
Being my last sojourn on Mother Earth, I have to impart the
Cosmic knowledge to those who truly seek the "wisdom of the East".
No further life after death of this body ... To Emancipate forever from the cycle of
birth and death... What can be more noble for atman the soul within.
One can within this life attain Salvation ... Become a living Mahavira, Buddha or Jesus Christ!
Those deeply interested in proceeding on a totally uncharted path of Self Realization
may join the mailing list on my homepage and also consider becoming a member of World Wide Center for Self
Realization (A Non profit Spiritual Organization) ... as the funds required to maintain my Internet presence
will only be through the efforts of those sincere aspirants who truly desire to gain Self Realization in the
Personal Experience story By:
Vijay Kumar "Atma Jnani" ... The Man who Realized God in 1993!
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